


Fun and Games

by Archaeopteryx_Feather



Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 11:07:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7571878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Archaeopteryx_Feather/pseuds/Archaeopteryx_Feather
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To pass the time, Starscream and Skywarp play a game of "army." Loudly. In public. To Thundercracker's dismay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fun and Games

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set in the middle of the war, before Starscream became Air Commander. I'm pretty sure Bill Watterson deservers credit here somewhere. ^.~
> 
> When you're done reading, head to Deviant Art and check out the awesome art Laitiel made for this fic. :) Link: http://archaeopt-rex.deviantart.com/art/Commission-Fun-and-Games-457981743

A second missile screamed down and Vos gave a living shudder. Thundercracker shielded his optics as a flash of light filled the south end of the city, throwing the skyspears into blinding relief. He looked down at the well-trodden purple metal of the crosswalk, now pocked with marks of acid rain from last week's shower.

As he reset his optics, he heard a sort of whir as something flew through the air. Then a sharp metal ding and a yelp from Skywarp. He looked up; the black jet was rubbing his wing.

"Owch," Skywarp said. "If I wanted to get filled with shrapnel, I could have stayed at the front. Let's go inside."

"They'd better get the missile shields back up soon," Starscream said. "That was either Chemofuels or Deadly Design they hit."

Roiling black smoke was now coursing up from the place the missile had struck.

"Some furlough this is," Skywarp muttered.

They sought refuge in a store that advertised itself as "Curves's Body Shells and Accessories." The panicked owner had evidently fled to a shelter already, for the store was empty yet had been left unlocked. There were body shells posed on pedestals about the room, mostly sporty looking vehicles, and several shelves full of modular guns and tools. From the ceiling hung jets in mock flight, all of them used models from the end of the Golden Age.

Skywarp pointed to an elderly jet with an ugly yellow and green paint job. "Hey Screamer, that one looks perfect for you."

Starscream opened his mouth to retort—and then the ceiling broke apart with a devastating _boom_. Sheets of metal shrieked as they tore apart in a cascade of popping bolts. The jets tumbled from their wires. Everything crumbled down with a roar.

The next thing Thundercracker knew, he was sprawled out across the dented hood of a blue car. Warily he raised himself on his elbows and wiped the dust out his optics. Half the ceiling had disappeared, and two walls were now open to the sky. A cascade of sparks illuminated the dim room. Somewhere nearby, there was a groan.

"You guys okay?" Thundercracker asked.

"Mostly," said Skywarp. The other jet appeared from behind a crumpled-in car. He was tangled in the fallen wires which had suspended the green and gold jet from the ceiling.

"Screamer?" Thundercracker asked. There was no response.

"Great," Skywarp said. "Told you we should have just stayed at the front."

Thundercracker pulled a fallen cable off his wing and made his way over to where Starscream had been standing. There was a pile of jets there now. He grabbed the nearest one by the wing and began dragging it off. Skywarp untangled himself and joined him.

It took almost half an hour before they were able to clear the now-conjoined body shells away enough to see what lay beneath

"Aha!" Skywarp said, pointing at something hidden under his side of the pile. Thundercracker scrabbled over and saw two chalky blue feet protruding from under the intake manifold of a Deadly Design Skyclimber. He could hear a faint moan from beneath the pile.

"Hold on, Screamer—we're getting you out," Thundercracker said. "Here, help me with this, Skywarp."

Together they lifted up the Skyclimber. Underneath was the dusty figure of Starscream. The Seeker sat up, looking dazed. He drew a hand over his optics and stared as if trying to focus on something in the distance.

"You okay?" Thundercracker asked. "Can you get out from under there on your own?"

"Yeah." Starscream wriggled his way out, his wings scraping along the top of the Skyclimber's manifold. When he was free, Thundercracker lowered the plane and looked his wingleader over.

Starscream was rubbing the side of his head where a corner was crumpled in. Thundercracker grimaced.

"You sure you're okay? That looks nasty."

"I feel fine." Starscream's optics lit up in an incongruous smile. "Hey, let's go outside and watch the missiles hit."

"I think we'd better go deeper down where it's safe," Thundercracker said.

"I'm going to go watch the missiles." Starscream stood up shakily and tottered outside. Thundercracker followed.

"What for?" he protested.

"It's pretty. And they make a big noise."

Thundercracker exchanged a look with Skywarp. The black Seeker called,

"Hey, Screamer—how 'bout transmitting us your diagnostic?"

"Nah, I don't want to go a medcenter. It's so boring there," Starscream said.

"So there's something wrong then?" Skywarp asked.

Starscream hesitated for a moment, then said, "No, I just don't want to. Shh! Here one comes."

A missile shrieked into the industrial district. There was a blinding flash of light; a second later a thunderous _boom_ shattered the air. Starscream gave a squeal and clapped furiously.

"More, more!"

"Starscream, please, your diagnostics," Thundercracker groaned.

Starscream shook his head, watching eagerly. "I've got an idea! Let's chase them!"

"Aaaaand, he's lost it," Skywarp said.

"Great. And I bet all the medcenters are jammed," Thundercracker said. Why did his furloughs always end up ruined by some weird incident? Couldn't his wingmates keep out of trouble just once?

"I'm not going to a medcenter," Starscream protested. "Never. No!"

"We're not going to the medcenter," Skywarp said soothingly. "We're going to go chase missiles. But in a place where it's even more fun. They'll be bigger and louder than these puny ones."

"Really?"

Skywarp smiled guilelessly. "Really! C'mon, I'll show you."

The medcenter had a designated floor for "noncritical injuries," and no sooner had they stepped out of the elevator than they found themselves in the waiting line. The queue stretched from the elevator doors, down the main hallway, around a corner, and into an echoey open space from which proceeded the sounds of welding, drilling and cutting.

Their arrival attracted little attention from the other mechs, an oily parade sporting dented hulls, missing fingers and fractured optics. Each face bore an identical expression which indicated that the mech in question had been waiting in line for twelve hours and had plumbed the depths of boredom, impatience and frustration to the hopeless, dreg-filled bottom. In nine hours, Thundercracker knew that he too would be wearing that look. He stifled a groan behind his hand. Now his furlough was _really_ ruined.

"This isn't a missile place," Starscream whined, looking around at the fluid-stained hallway. "You lied!"

"We'll get there soon," Skywarp promised. "This is just the...check in place to get there. Only the coolest people get to chase the really big missiles. They have to make sure you're okay."

A few people were giving them odd looks. Thundercracker tapped his processor significantly. Sympathic nods answered him and everyone went back to waiting.

"I'm going back up to the surface," Starscream said. "This is no fun." He turned towards the elevator and made to leave, but Thundercracker caught him by the arm. They were _not_ losing their place in line.

"Why don't you shut down and get some rest?" Thundercracker suggested. "We'll wake you when it's time to chase missiles."

"I don't want to shut down. I want to go play outside. Let go of me!"

"Hey Screamer, let's play a game," Skywarp said.

Thundercracker looked gratefully at his wingmate, who had crouched down on the floor. Skywarp was spreading out tiny briefing models representative of triads, squadrons, and wings. Starscream hunkered down next to him, eyeing the models curiously.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Army," Skywarp said. "We'll divide up the pieces and fight each other."

Starscream thought for a moment. Then he collected all the wing and squadron pieces.

"Okay. This is my army. You can have the rest." He pushed a tiny pile of triad pieces towards Skywarp.

Thundercracker suppressed a smile. "I'd say Starscream's army has a numerical advantage."

"My army is bigger _and_ better than his," Starscream bragged.

"But mine has a better commander," Skywarp said.

Starscream fixed him with a withering look. "No, mine does. And it's better trained, and has cooler weapons. And, all of my guys can turn invisible. But yours can't."

Skywarp was not to be outdone. "But look, mine can teleport," he said, jerking a triad piece around. "Now they're teleporting behind your lines and flanking your army."

"No they're not!" Starscream yelled.

The words echoed down the hallway, and dozens of curious faces turned to look at them. Thundercracker examined the floor.

Starscream grabbed for Skywarp's triad piece and tried to thrust it away from him, but the black Seeker used it to knock Starscream's pieces around.

"Now my army is clobbering yours big time."

"You can't do that! My army is invisible!" Starscream cried, smashing Skywarp's pieces across the floor.

"Ooh, I'm kicking your skidplate," Skywarp laughed. "I'm winning, I'm winning!"

"No you're not!" Starscream shouted. He punched Skywarp in the face.

Skywarp jerked back, clutching his dented nose. "Ow! You idiot! That was _not_ part of the game."

"You were cheating," Starscream said. "You broke the rules."

"What rules? We're playing war here. There are no rules."

"My army was invisible. You couldn't see them, so you couldn't hurt them. Also, my army can teleport too. But better than yours."

Still holding his nose, Skywarp burst into painful laughter. Thundercracker rubbed his cheeks and tried not to react.

"You play fair from now on or else," Starscream snapped. He gathered up his pieces and set them in order, then thrust Skywarp's army back to him. "And there's a new rule. Your army can't fly."

"Why not?"

"Because you're the Autobots."

"But my soldiers have wings," Skywarp said, holding up his triad piece.

"They're not real wings," Starscream said. "They're only fake ones made to trick the enemy into thinking they can fly."

"How cunning," Skywarp said dryly.

"Let's play," Starscream growled.

"Maybe you could play a little more quietly this time," Thundercracker said.

"We'll keep it down," Skywarp said.

The two armies approached. Starscream lifted a wing piece into the air and swooped down on Skywarp's troops making 'ptew' 'ptew' 'ptew' noises. Skywarp jumped his pieces back and forth.

"Ha ha, I'm dodging! Now I'm firing back! I hit you! Haha, you're going down!"

"No I'm not, you missed!" Starscream said. "Ptew! Ptew! A direct hit! You're dead!" Starscream knocked one Skywarp's pieces over.

Skywarp set it back up. "But mine got repaired, and they got an upgrade to make them more powerful than ever. Now I can kill your guys with one shot."

Thundercracker shook his head ruefully. "You're enjoying this way too much, 'Warp."

"I'm just keeping him occupied," Skywarp protested.

"But now all my soldiers got upgraded too, and they got fusion cannons," said Starscream. "All your guys are going to be dead. Zap, zap!" Starscream smashed the triad pieces across the floor. "There, now all your soldiers got killed and I won!"

"But they were only faking it to lure yours into a trap," Skywarp said. He lurched his pieces back to life. "Now they're ambushing your army while it's vulnerable. Ptew ptew! Your guys are dying all over the place. And one of my spies stole all your tech, so now my army can turn invisible too. They also have better fusion cannons. And they can fly better too."

"That didn't happen!" Starscream yelled. "They were dead!"

"No they weren't. I won," Skywarp said proudly.

Thundercracker warned, "You're gonna get socked again. And let's keep it down Screamer, okay?"

"You lost! You're a cheater!" Starscream snarled.

Skywarp just laughed. "Fine, fine, Screamer—you won."

"I won! Admit it!"

"Yeah, yeah. You won. Totally."

"Let's play again," Starscream hissed. "This time there will be new rules."

"Oh, goody."

They collected their respective pieces and set them back up again.

"From now on, you can't play dead, and you can't shoot at my guys when they're invisible," Starscream said. "Also, you can't have upgrades because you don't have enough energy. But I have all the energy I want, so all my soldiers have _every_ power and can do _anything_. And yours can't."

"That's sounds fair to me," Skywarp said.

"Let's go." Starscream lifted his wing pieces into the air and bombarded Skywarp's army. Skywarp knocked over his pieces.

"Ungh, ungh! We're dying. Aaargh... We're all dead." Skywarp shrugged. "Looks like you won."

"You're supposed to fight," Starscream said. "You're not trying."

"I was trying. It was just that my weak, pathetic forces were no match for your awesome superiority."

"No, you have to _really_ try," Starscream insisted. "Then I'll beat you. Let's go again."

"This game is demoralizing," Skywarp muttered.

Thundercracker leaned forward. "Instead of fighting against each other, maybe you and Skywarp should be allies and fight the Autobots together."

"Yeah, let's make a treaty of friendship," Skywarp said, holding out a hand of friendship. "We'll join together and kick Autobot skidplate."

"I won though, not you," Starscream insisted.

"Yeah, sure, you won," Skywarp said, grinning.

"So you admit it. I won."

"Right. Of course."

Grudgingly Starscream gathered the pieces together into a single group. "I get to be Supreme Commander."

"What about Megatron?" Skywarp asked.

"There was a great battle, and he died. Then I took over."

Thundercracker winced. "I seriously hope you don't think these things in real life."

Starscream did not reply, but there was a certain glow of satisfaction in his face as he arranged the pieces in battle order.

"So what rank am I then?" Skywarp asked.

"You're second in command, but you can only do things if I say so first."

"Hey TC, are you gonna play?" Skywarp asked.

Thundercracker waved a hand. "No thanks. You two have fun."

"I think TC should play. He could be third in command," Skywarp said, looking at Starscream.

"No. He's no fun," Starscream said. Skywarp broke into snickers.

Thundercracker crouched down. "How about if I be the referee? I'll make sure you both play nice."

"See, I _said_ he wasn't fun," Starscream said, glowering at him.

"I think it would make the game better if we divided the army up evenly between you and 'Warp," Thundercracker suggested. He reached for Starscream's pile of pieces.

"No!" Starscream yelled, pulling them close. "They're mine!"

"You heard the referee," Skywarp said. "Gimme my share!" He stretched out his hand towards the pieces.

"NO!" Starscream clutched the pieces to his chest.

"Let's keep it down," Thundercracker said.

Skywarp tried to pry the pieces away, but Starscream leapt to his feet and ran. The black Seeker lunged after him. With a flying tackle Skywarp brought Starscream down. The pieces scattered across the floor. Both Seekers scrabbled to snatch them up.

_Guys, cut it out,_ Thundercracker pleaded over the comm. The whole hallway was staring at them.

"Haha, I'm getting them all!" Skywarp taunted.

"They're mine! Let go of them!" Starscream shrieked. He punched Skywarp in the jaw. Kicking, hitting and cursing, the two Seekers rolled across the floor.

Thundercracker felt someone lightly tap the back of his wing. He twisted around and looked up into optics of a medic.

"We're ready for him now."

Thundercracker looked at the still-lengthy line. "But what about everyone else?"

The medic gave a tight smile. "It's alright with them if you go ahead."

"Thank you," Thundercracker muttered. Looking neither to the left nor the right, he walked over to the raging pair of Seekers. "Cut it out you two! _Now!_ "

"He stole my pieces!" Starscream shrieked.

"Give 'em up, Warp," Thundercracker snapped. "And I mean now."

"But—"

"Do. It."

Grudgingly Skywarp handed the pieces over. Starscream snatched them and held them jealously close.

"Come on," Thundercracker said. "They're ready for him."

"But the line," Skywarp pointed out.

"They made an exception," Thundercracker ground out.

"Oh good," Skywarp said, standing up and dusting himself off. "I was getting bored of waiting. My nose hurts."

"When are we going to chase missiles?" Starscream demanded.

"Right now. Walk," Thundercracker said.

Starscream turned to look at Skywarp. " _I_ won. And _you_ lost."

"Did not," Skywarp said.

But Starscream was already running towards the medical center door. Thundercracker hurried after him. He arrived just in time to hear the medic say,

"—a missile chasing place? No, this is a treatment center."

"We're not going to chase missiles?" Starscream said. "Skywarp, you liar! I'm leaving!"

There was the discharge of a medical null ray.

A wave of pure warmth spread through Thundercracker's soul. He sat down on the waiting room bench.

"It creeps me out when you smile like that," Skywarp said.

"Oh, you have no idea," Thundercracker said. "Absolutely no idea."

"TC?"

"Yeah?"

"I hope you never get a null ray."

Thundercracker's smile twisted, and his head filled with pleasant thoughts.


End file.
